Kiddo: Is there really a tooth fairy?

Mama: Do you really want to know?

Kiddo: Yes.

Mama: Well, let's look at the options. A: There is a tooth fairy, who has been leaving you the quarters or whatever it is that you get. B: There really is a tooth fairy, but your question will piss it off and it will stop bringing you stuff. C: Mama and Papa have been leaving you money, and if there's no tooth fairy, then there's no reason to keep giving you stuff. D: Mama and Papa have been leaving you money ... heck, this sounds like option C. The way I see it, there's a two-in-three shot that knowing the answer will result in you not getting any more money. So do you really, honestly want to know?

And she did. Good thing, too, because I was out of the Eisenhower dollars and the half-dollars that she'd been getting all along.

Kiddo: I knew it!

Mama: I'm not leaving any more money under your pillow.

Kiddo: We'll have to find somewhere else to put the teeth.

Mama: I'm not leaving you money there, either. I'm done. Besides, we still owe on the teeth you still have in there. Points to kiddo's mouth.

Kiddo giggles.

Mama: We're still paying on that retainer you don't need any more!

Kiddo: Really? Giggles.